【胡挹芬】注重人际亲密感的第一型（ Sexual Ones )


这型人最关心的是感情与人际的议题。他渴望有一位完美无缺的另一半，和他一起共创完美无缺的亲密关系。同时，他也要求生活中其他的人际关系都是完美无缺的：包括家人、小孩，甚至好朋友。由于担心另一半无法与自己相匹配，他会不断地要求另一半要有所长进，在他认可的领域中日新月异。这型人期待“天长地久式”的爱情神话，因此，他也很害怕被抛弃。


当性格健康度严重下滑时，嫉妒与不安全感让他的控制欲更强烈，甚至会打击另一半的信心来防止对方离开他。

【里索】【九型人格4】性本能的第一型：共享标准 （伊察索所说的 “嫉妒”）


性本能强烈的第一型非常重视亲密关系，他们对于完美的亲密关系有着明确的定义和标准，并且会按照自己的标准来要求伴侣，然后加以对照。因为这个原因，很多性本能型的第一型会很难在生活中找到符合他们标准的理想伴侣——那些备选对象身上总是或多或少地有些缺陷，不能达到他们的预期。他们也许非常期待构建一个完美的家庭，可前提是要先找到那个能够理解并且赞同他们这一想法的伴侣。一旦性本能型的第一型找到了理想伴侣，他们就会异常兴奋，并竭尽全力来维护彼此的关系。他们也许会把自己的伴侣过于理想化，继而不断努力让自己能够配得上对方的爱慕。即使如此，他们还是会担心伴侣不再认同他们对于爱情和家庭的理念，而这样的担忧很可能会让他们开始指责对方。他们想要提醒自己的伴侣不要忘记他们赖以生存的严格标准，可这样不停的“督促”反而会给他们的亲密关系带来麻烦。可无论如何，他们对伴侣还是非常热情的，也会一直用心经营着他们的感情，争取进一步的发展。

【陈德伦】一对一1号：热情


一对一1号是一个改革者，渴望别人也做得和自己一样完美，并关注忠诚度。内在的激情推动着他们去改善别人，同时渴望和被改善的人有亲密的联系。对结果要求高，认为提出高要求是改革者的权力。渴望拥有一个理想的亲密关系，时刻等待一个完美的伴侣以获得稳定的生活，可能会被误认为4号。对伴侣、家庭、亲近的朋友，有很高的要求，相信在他们身边的人也应该有高标准。唯恐别人达不到高水平而毁灭和他们之间的和谐及完美性，所以会去促使亲近的人也达到他们的标准。他们的内在经常隐藏着被抛弃的恐惧及孤独感。高期望和害怕被抛弃，使他们对伴侣有挑剔、控制欲的态度。

【Beatrice Chestnut】The Sexual One: “Zeal” (Countertype)


While the Self-Preservation One is a perfectionist, and the Social One unconsciously takes on the pose of someone who is “perfect” in modeling to the right way to be, Sexual Ones focus on perfecting others. This One is more of a reformer than a perfectionist. They have a need to improve others, but don’t focus on being perfect themselves.


This is the only One subtype that is explicitly angry and so is the countertype of the three One personalities. The Sexual One is impatient, can be invasive, goes for what he or she wants, and has a sense of entitlement. These Ones have an intensity of desire fueled by anger that motivates them to want to improve others. This can be expressed as a sense of excitement, passion, or idealism about the way things could be if people would reform their behavior, or if the reforms they envision were enacted by society. This makes them compelling and vehement.


This character feels entitled in the sense of possessing the mentality of a reformer or a zealot—one who knows how to live or do things better and so feels a right to assert their will over others. Like the mentality of a conqueror, this approach can be rationalized (and made virtuous) through the rhetoric of their adherence to a higher moral code or calling.


According to Naranjo, Ichazo gave this subtype the name, “Zeal,” meaning “a special intensity of desire.” Zeal suggests an intensity or excitement that fuels the desire to connect with others. It also means doing things with care, dedication, and fervor.


This One’s anger infuses his desire with a special intensity or urgency and the person has the sense that “I have to have it,” or “I have a right to it,” or “I have to improve it (society or another person) to make it the way I know it should be.”


In a collective sense, this can be seen in the idea of “manifest destiny,” the ideology that justified the takeover of the western part of the United States from the Native Americans in the 1800s. Despite what our retrospective view of that period might be, this philosophy was a justification for the white man taking over land populated by “savages.” Another example of this ideology can be seen in the minds of conquerors, as when the Spanish conquered South America. The rhetoric displayed there was, “I can take this because I’m noble and civilized.”


In the Sexual One, this intensity of desire can support the impulse to reform or perfect specific others or to make the world a better place in the way this One believes it should be. Sometimes, this desire to perfect others grows out of a genuine belief in an enlightened vision of reform or idealism. However, it may at the same time be fueled by this instinctual subtype’s need to make others more perfect. One woman I know with this subtype reported that she felt she would be justified in leaving her husband if he did not carry out her suggestions for his improvement. And she felt a need to help him become a better person so she could have a better partner.


In Western culture there can be an anti-sexual or anti-instinctual sentiment—the idea that it’s not okay to act on one’s desires. For instance, the sinfulness of sex is so pervasive that it can be hard sometimes not to feel improper or naughty if we allow ourselves to freely express our sexual desires. But the Sexual One has a different, more liberated, attitude with regard to sexual desire. There’s a kind of “go for it” mentality that can then necessitate the finding of good reasons to support the rightness of whatever the Sexual One wants to do. Unlike the Self-Preservation Ones, these Ones don’t question themselves as much. Instead they are concerned more with making others into the people they think they should be.


These Ones are avengers; they are not afraid of confrontation. They may be containing a murderous rage that they cannot see. Their anger can be like a volcano that erupts. They perceive themselves as strong. They have great strength and determination and can be very brave. They are also impulsive and do things quickly.


Sexual Ones have two sides: a more playful side oriented toward pleasure and an aggressive, angry side. Pain is the emotion they repress the most and the one they find most difficult to show. They may act out their unacknowledged pain by leading a double life as a way of breaking the rules. Some Sexual Ones display “trap-door” behavior, discharging their anger and pain through “bad” acts. An example of this is Eliot Spitzer. As the Attorney General of the State of New York, he crusaded against lawbreakers, going after Wall Street criminals and prostitutes in an effort to reform society. However, he later resigned as the Governor when he was caught having an ongoing relationship with a prostitute himself.


In light of this type of behavior, this One can look like a type Eight. Like Eights, they can be energetic, assertive, and strong. These Ones believe they have a right to impose their vision and get what they need, in the same way an Eight might overpower or dominate a situation to impose their own will. But Eights and Ones differ in that Ones are “over-social” and Eights are “under-social.”


Sexual Ones bring intensity and energy to relationships. They can be forceful and insistent. They may attempt to reform their partners and friends, conveying the sense of being on a mission or drawing on a higher calling or authority in the things they do. They excel at pointing out what others might need to do to reform their behavior or meet specific standards, but focus less interest and attention in reforming their own behavior, seeing what they do as right.

Sally, a Sexual One, speaks:


I have a strong need for order in my relationships. This order is determined by my moral code of conduct, which holds my internal world together. When this is disrupted (which is quite often) I can be edgy, critical, demanding, and insensitive. I have often been unaware of how I wanted to (and tried to) fix or improve others. It just seems so right to bring order through clear communication and the sharing of insights.


I can be very jealous when others seem to enjoy closer connections than I do. And I am more than alert to my partner’s placement of attention, especially on another woman! My intensity often surprises me! And I see now how challenging it can be for those around me.

【海伦】【九型人格】一对一关系：嫉妒心


1号性格者的嫉妒心表现在监控伴侣的行动，并对两人之间的任何事情都斤斤计较。


感觉就像身体要爆炸一样，我疯狂地想把一切和我的伴侣说清楚。她在做什么？她会选择谁？一想到这些，我就无法控制自己。那个人身上有什么是我没有的？我会不断地比较下去——对手得到一分，我就更失落；我得到一分，就更高兴。我知道我自己疯了，我气得恨不能把对方杀了。真那样做当然是错误的，我也没法那样做，因为我自己的内心已经奄奄一息。

【海伦】【职场和恋爱中的九型人格】一号在一对一情感关系中表现出嫉妒心（狂热）

感情上的嫉妒心痛过一种愤怒和占有的方式表达出来。一号性格者们常说，当他们的感情受到威胁时，他们的胸腔中充满了狂热的愤怒。他们不再给快乐留下任何余地。

“你怎么敢拿我的东西？”

一号很难分清什么是他们想要的，他们也很难让自己去享受快乐。他们觉得任何对完美的威胁都可能是对他们生命的威胁。

他们认为自己已经赢得了被爱的权利，就应该去享受爱情的快乐。他们讨厌面临对手，希望一切重回正轨。如果自己曾经是完美的，那就不会有对手。

一号认为自己愤怒是因为伴侣的错误，所以错不在自己。愤怒导致的嫉妒会迅速让他们迷失心智，内心被嫉妒包围。“这必须停止。”他们感到自己必须释放紧张情绪，必须采取行动。他们想去检查，去看看到底发生了什么，去知道谁对谁到底说了什么。他们想要得到确切的名字和日期，来证实自己的猜测。

问题的焦点是忠诚度，但是一号的嫉妒远远超过了两性关系应有的承诺。他们可能把嫉妒转嫁到任何人头上，他们会嫉妒那些刚刚得到提升的人，因为这些人在工作中得宠。完美主义者需要让一切朝着正确的方向发展。他们努力实现这一目标，当自己的努力不见成效时，就会感到嫉妒。

“我应该得到承认！”

“你应该注意到我！”

这样的话让自己感到更安全。他们不愿说“我想”或者“我需要”。

让一号直接伸手去要他们想要的东西是不可能的。但是他们自己犯了错，他们会用“这必须停止”的方法来禁止自己的思想——“我想要”。